Rhyme Bones – Humorous desktop signs. Show your mood for the day!
Rhyme Bones is a tablet of 48 original rhymes on tear-out desk signs designed to share the users mood for the day.
Tom Davis, 2-In Touch Enterprises
Getting your rant out there is a breeze with some timely and twisted desk rhymes like these…
SIAMESE TWINS-sex with siamese twins can be double the thrill-but sometimes they can’t agree on who won’t and who will-sure,sex with siamese twins will keep you in great shape-but if you nail the wrong twin they’ll arrest you for rape.
APPLAUSE-now here’s something on which you can chew-what if we had evolved with 3 arms instead of2?-one can hardly imagine the amount of coordination gone wrong-while this evolutionary process was coming along. sure it would take alot of balls to participate in audience applause! there’d be broken jaws and without a slo-mo clap-your dental work would end up in someone’s lap-so how could people safely show their appreciation? with a 3 legged standing ovation.
BUTT MOBILE HYBRID-the salesman said it was the latest in hybrids-said i’d soon be saving dough-just gas-up once a week on a bean burrito-eagerly i bought one–son-of-a-gun, i hate to be graphic-but i couldn’t pass enough gas to keep my speed up in traffic-so i switched over to crap mode like i was told and i took off like a shot and my wife cried JACKPOT! you’re full of more crap than i thought!
DUCT TAPE-i love duct tape and i can’t help blurting-wrapped tightly enough-it will even keep gooses from squirting! but you can’t tape the antlers back on mooses and many are serving hard time for it’s abuses-sure, i admit it-i accidently taped her nose to her cheek while she was yelling-but that shouldn’t make me a duct tape death-row felon!
DRIBBLING-ah, NBA basketball! Amos and i loved all the dribbling down the court-but since Amos’ prostate surgery, the prospects are dim of him hitting the rim-i’m sad to report. dammit Amos! i won’t quibble!-you’re not making any points with me with that double dribble!
DILDOS IN HEAVEN-dildos in heaven? about that the bible never speaks-but since i’ve arrived here it’s very clear-dildos in heaven need a few tweaks–dildos in hell?-they’ll make you grin-but anything over 2 inches in heaven-that’s a sin! i don’t care if you were any upstanding member of AARP-you can’t use one here to vibrate your girlfriends harp!
DAYTIME SOAPS-gosh-i never miss my daytime soaps-here’s where Janet and the transvestite elope-gee-i really lost my fizz when Ryan started denying the baby was his-shut up and quit being so chatty-i gotta find out if the pope is the daddy!
HEMORRHOID HOLIDAY-sure, i could get behind a holiday that celebrates anal itching-a hemorrhoid holiday? gee-that doesn’t sound very bewitching-it’s depressing just thinking about all the hemorrhoid products marketers would be pitching. what? they cancelled hemorrhoid holiday! well ain’t that just hunky dory! i had bean dip all lined up to start ’em twitching and ointment to soothe their bitching-now i’m stuck with a 15 million buck inventory and you’re stuck with this cock and bull story.
PLUS 41 MORE TWISTED RHYMES FOR YOUR FRIENDS!!